Somatic Sex Education
"Sexuality made accessible for all bodies through education & exploration"
Sex can be accessible. It is not something that some folks get to enjoy and the rest of us are forced to mimic and parrot if we want to play along. There are billions of ways to "do" sex because there are billions of us.
We can all access what we like and don't like. We can all learn how to feel this information in our bodies and practice the communication around conveying it. Sometimes we are presented with barriers or challenges to pleasure. But it is my fact and experience based opinion that every body can access more pleasure with the right tools and space to do so.
Things that do not disqualify you from great pleasure include: Chronic illness and pain, sexual dysfunction, , mental and physical disability, sexual trauma, years of being single and celibate, lack of knowledge and experience with our own bodies and those of potential partners, identification as LGBTQ and non-binary genders, age, and cultural and racial background.
I am a certified Somatic Sexologist. What's that? Somatics is a field within bodywork, movement and other therapeutic modalities wherein the internal physical perception and experience are emphasized. It is the body perceived from within. Sexology is the scientific study of human sexuality including interests, behaviors and functions. I believe sexuality is the crux of our existence and it informs all aspects of our lives. If we delve into curiosity around our sexuality, I believe our unique life purpose and path comes to the forefront. And in our newfound embodiment, we have the strength to walk our path. With pleasure!
This work is personal for me. I have had chronic pelvic pain since I was a child. My first sexual experiences were extremely painful and isolating. Was this the sex I saw in movies? I thought I was supposed to keep finding ways to have it look more like that. I felt like a failure at sex. It was too difficult to feel the shame and perceived disappointment of my then partner so I switched to only having one-night-stands for years, totally giving up on the possibility of my own pleasure. My early adulthood was pickled with tons of gynecologists and semi experimental but largely ineffective treatments. Because the wisdom of my body was never consulted. I was never really included in the treatment plan.
My pain got more complicated with a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis in 2010, which affects my sexuality in ways that neurologists never brought up. I was in a loving relationship for ten years but we did not have the tools to know how to expand our repertoire in ways that would be accessible and pleasurable for us both. My doctors and Google were not addressing the myriad complicated ways that pain and illness and trauma were affecting my most intimate relationships: with myself and my primary partner. We stopped having sex and grew apart and ultimately got a divorce.
It was then that I decided that there had to be more for me, that I may have chronic pain and illness but I would be damned if that meant I also did not get access to pleasure. I explored dance and the healing power of conscious touch through trauma-informed, wheel of consent based workshops. I worked my way through this newness slowly and somatically. Two years ago I took a deep dive of faith into the expansive world of breath, movement and sound that is neo-Tantra. My pain and illness began to improve. I had penetrative sex with very little pain for the first time. I knew I was on to something.
Today I am a Tantric Practitioner & Somatic Sexologist specializing in working with individuals and partnerships who may have some odds stacked against them but are curious and faithful enough to wonder if there is more out there for them. I believe my transformation is one that all beings can make. I believe you are here because you sense that too.
I envision a world where everyone is able to fulfill their healing needs. Where we build our skills and share freely with one another. Where the Queer community and People of Color have equal access to feeling and expressing their sexuality. Where self-healing is not seen as self-indulgent but rather a necessary step for social change. Where hierarchies of healing are dismantled and we allow ourselves to feel the gray of no either/or. The expansive capacity of the Universe to hold healing for us all, that in fact demands it for the other in order to be truly felt in our own bodies.
Do something revolutionary. Invest in yourself. There is no way to progress forward without first going inward loves. Let's do this together.